you've read the books and saved the scripts. and something is still missing.
a course for toddler moms on tantrums and meltdowns, boundaries, and changing a behavior. the emotionally healthy way.
think about the times that you have snapped.
you can't take it anymore and you just want the noise to stop. what do you go to first?
you're the yelling mom or the giving-in mom. probably both, depending on the day. and then at night, you lie there and replay the worst five minutes of your day.
you're confused. is this normal, or am i doing something wrong?
you've knelt down to eye level and said i see you're having a hard time. you've saved the scripts, the strategies, the quick fixes, the tips and tricks. it helped at first.
but no one ever showed you what comes next.
everyone around you keeps telling you to use another tip or trick. you're ready for something deeper.
your friends are still swapping scripts. someone suggests another sticker chart, another book, another appointment.
the people who love you tell you you're overthinking it. so you nod along, because you can't quite put words to what you're feeling. you just know it isn't about the strategy anymore.
the tantrum after you hold a boundary isn't the hardest part. the fear underneath is, what does this mean about me as a mom?
you don't need to be perfect with all of these strategies.
you need to be the grown up in the room.
the one your toddler can push against, fall apart with, and melt into, because they know you'll still be standing there.
that means knowing how to see it, and knowing what both of you need: what you have nervous system capacity for, plus what your toddler needs right now. then you have to actually do it, which is the hard part.
that's what your toddler needs right now.
i was really good at controlling the moment. i was missing the relationship.
i've spent ten years with toddlers and their moms. in the beginning, when a toddler melted down, i felt confused, helpless, and alone. i felt like i wasn't a good enough grown up for them, and i just didn't know what to do differently.
i knew i wanted to do things differently from what i had seen growing up, but i didn't know a better way. so i was spiraling all the time, thinking, this can't be the way that it ends. this is not the kind of grown up that i want to be.
for a long time, i thought boundaries would make everything feel fixed. if i was consistent enough, i'd always know what to do.
six years in, i realized i was really good at controlling the moment, and i was missing the relationship.
it took me a long time to learn how to see toddlerhood. boundaries aren't about control. they're about who your child is becoming. sharing power. showing them what's normal between the two of you.
that changed everything about how i live with toddlers. strategies plus relationship is what i want to teach you.
an opening and four modules. tantrums, boundaries, and behavior woven through every one.
each module walks through tantrums and meltdowns, boundaries, and changing a behavior, with stories from my ten years with toddlers and their moms, with myths that help us understand what's happening, and with the language of emotions and learning to work with them, not pushing back against them.
you'll learn to see into each moment, like what big feelings really are underneath a tantrum. and it's a safe container for you to do your own emotional work.
i'm not giving you a script. i'm teaching you how to see it. you'll have strategies to hold in your back pocket, but you choose when you use them, how you use them, and what your home needs right now. you already have that dignity and that power. you just need to see it for yourself.
the grown up in the room
who the grown up in the room is, and why your toddler needs one.
- what it looks, sounds, and feels like
- what child development research tells us toddlers need
you
what comes up for you in the hard moments.
- the yelling mom and the giving-in mom, and why both make sense
- the anger underneath, and what else you can do with it
- why boundaries are so hard when you can't say no
your toddler
what toddlerhood feels like from their side.
- how your toddler experiences big feelings
- why boundaries are hard for toddlers too, and why they need them right now
- how much more they get to enjoy toddlerhood with a grown up in the room
- why the hell they act like that
the moment
the middle of the tantrum, and what it looks and sounds like to set a boundary and actually hold it, where you don't feel harsh, but you know you're not giving in too much either.
- what to do in the middle of a meltdown
- the monsters of toddlerhood: how to meet them when they show up, and keep the day moving
- what an emotionally healthy boundary sounds like
- what happens between you two when you hold it well
after
repair, the replay at night, and what to do when it comes back.
- how to come down from a hard moment with your toddler
- repair after you yell or give in
- getting out of the replay at night
- when the behavior comes back
plus free access to the village: AMAs (ask me anythings) with kimber, and a space to meet like-minded moms, talk about the hard stuff, share your wins, and trade strategies. it's also where the back pocket strategy library is, which has really specific strategies for moments in tantrums, meltdowns, boundaries, and changing a behavior.
plus a nightly workbook. what went well? what did i learn? what needs to change tomorrow? not in a perfectionistic, anxious way. it's how you learn about yourself and move out of shame and perfectionism into willingness to do the hard sh*t.
it's 5:30. dinner's not ready. he's melting down on the floor because he wants something he can't have right now.
and you don't even flinch.
you check in with what you need to be the grown up in the room. you know it's going to be hard for a minute, but you know it's worth it.
you don't go looking for a script. you don't get louder, and you don't give in. you keep the day moving. you're working on dinner, and he stays connected with you and borrows your regulation, because he doesn't have his own.
you know what he needs, because you can see what's actually happening. he melts into you.
later that night, you don't replay it and make it mean more than it does. there's nothing to second guess about what happened between the two of you. you're both growing.
you were the grown up in the room.
you see the moment differently.
you see your toddler differently. you see yourself differently. you start choosing from your values instead of reacting.
it's about the relationship, their developmental needs, your nervous system capacity, and learning how to be the grown up in the room.
you get the relationship with your toddler you've been craving. the secret no one tells you is boundaries.
who is this for?
toddler moms, especially with a late two, three, or four year old, who've read the books and tried the scripts and still feel like something is missing.
is it self-paced?
yes. you can go through it in order, or go right to what's happening in your home right now.
are there scripts?
no. you'll get strategies and know why i choose them. but our goal is that you learn to see the moment for yourself and decide what your family needs.
how is this different from big feelings?
big feelings is free, and it helps you start understanding what's going on. the grown up in the room is where you learn to see toddlerhood differently and become the mom your toddler can lean on.
how long do i have access?
forever. come back to it every time your toddler gets into a new stage.
is there a payment plan?
yes, of course. i want every mom who wants this to be able to get into it.
you've already read the books. you've already tried the scripts.
there is something missing from the books. they're too simplistic, too band-aid, fix it. deep down, the goal is to make the tantrum stop. and i don't believe that's the goal.
every day you look for the next script is another day with the same tantrums, boundaries that don't really work, and your self-despising replay at night. another day wondering what every other mom seems to have figured out that you don't.
your issue isn't that you don't know enough. it's that you don't know how to be the grown up in the room.
- opening video + 4 modules
- free access to the village + the back pocket strategy library
- nightly reflection workbook
- unlimited lifetime access
the course is opening soon. payment plans available.
join the waitlist